~wonderfulrachel

I tire of insincerity and half-baked promises, of false priorities and insensitivity. I tire of inclusion and exclusion, of the constant pendulum battle between "yes" and "no", of opinions that change quicker than I can comprehend. I tire of false reassurances and pressing questions, of boundaries pushed and refusals barely tolerated. I tire of believing that I'm needy, when I'm actually not. I tire of sitting, waiting, and fearing. I tire of kaleidoscope friendships and whirling emotions, of dizzying decisions and nauseous reactions. I tire of people denying inevitability and postponing morality, of dramatic monologues and my own hypocrisy. I tire of questing looks and worried glances, of hands on arms and insincere concern. I tire of idiocy and attention-seeking, of people not wanting to understand. I tire of lying awake and wondering what might of been, and what is to come. I tire of relying on routine to feel safe; of trusting too much and having too little trust, in equal measures. I tire of knowing who I am, and where I want to go, but being too scared to say. I tire of losing faith, of losing respect, of having my rose-tinted glasses snatched by reality. I tire of misunderstandings and miscomprehension, of double entendres and hidden meanings. I tire of symbolism. I tire of references to the lows when I'm feeling high, and I tire of pointless nostalgia. I tire of myself as equally as I tire of company, but I could never tire of solitude. I tire of trying to forget why I am.