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it feels like winter. by =wonderfulrachel:iconwonderfulrachel:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Other Romance > Open


i can, i can try
to replace you with sugary tea,
but you were never that sweet
and couldn't blister my palm.

and besides, you preferred to have
a lemon slice and a kiss with your earl grey
and i've run out of both.


i can abandon rational thought
and capital letters
but i can't, i can't stop thinking
in drawn-out vowels.

but it's okay, it's okay.
i walked down a hill this morning
and didn't think of you once.
©2009 =wonderfulrachel
:iconwonderfulrachel:

Author's Comments

a bit of an experimental foray into the world of...something else.

not really sure what to do with this one!

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconcarousel-dreams:
=Carousel-Dreams Jun 28, 2009, 9:58:33 PM
I really like this, nostalgia floats my boat and it is flying. :rose:

--
so pregnant with meaning i am lactating not really
:iconforwinds:
~forWinds Jun 29, 2009, 5:14:26 AM
i walked down a hill this morning
and didn't think of you once.

I loovvee this line. :heart:

--
Band geek and proud of it! :heart:

(Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?)
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think you're on drugs.
:iconinuzrule:
~inuzrule Jun 29, 2009, 10:47:39 AM
I quite like the raw emotion here...how you use repetition and left-off trains of thought. The form of the poem expresses the anguish of the speaker even more than the words do.


Brilliant work. :+fav:

--
The tide rises, the tide falls,
The twilight darkens, the curlew calls;
Along the sea-sands damp and brown
The traveler hastens toward the town,
And the tide rises, the tide falls...

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
"The Tide Rises, the Tide Falls"
:iconposhlost:
~poshlost Jun 29, 2009, 11:43:50 PM
Might be better as prose?

--
"Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior."
- Catullus
:iconwonderfulrachel:
=wonderfulrachel Jul 3, 2009, 10:04:12 PM
it was originally - i'm still toying round with it. who knows.

maybe it'll be prosetry.

--
=]
:iconwonderfulrachel:
=wonderfulrachel Jul 3, 2009, 10:04:51 PM
that's my favourite tooo :)
i wrote the whole poem around those lines. (:

--
=]
:iconwonderfulrachel:
=wonderfulrachel Jul 3, 2009, 10:05:15 PM
mmm same! i swear everything i write is nostalgic in some form but that's okay, i can deal with that. i wallow in nostalgia. xD

--
=]
:iconwonderfulrachel:
=wonderfulrachel Jul 3, 2009, 10:09:08 PM
thanks so much! it's always lovely to know what people think in such detail :) really useful comment too!

and thankyou for the fave (:

--
=]
:iconcarousel-dreams:
=Carousel-Dreams Jul 3, 2009, 11:03:57 PM
Oh tell me about it, nostalgia and really abstract fondness for things have become my safe haven, not sure if it i a good thing. X)

--
so pregnant with meaning i am lactating not really
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